Friday, September 21, 2007

shorter Fort Lauderdale controversy

Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle: gays are ruining our beach with their public sex acts!

Almost everyone else in Fort Lauderdale: ... eh?

Coalition of Black Ministers: We agree with Naugle. Let's turn Fort Lauderdale into the Bible Belt of South Florida!

Mathis Guice, Koinonia Worship Center: We are in a war with Satan here! Look, my paramilitary garb proves it! We need to crush immoral behavior under the heel of God.

Rev. O'Neal Dozier: Not that we hate the faggots. Things have just gotten a little too (scare quote) gay-friendly (scare quote) around here.

Mayor Naugle: See, God believes me! $250,000 in single occupancy toilets is totally a good investment.

City of Fort Lauderdale
: um... We've only arrested two people since 2005 for this sort of thing...

Naugle: Silence, wench! It's been eight and you know it!

Gay activists
: Religious prejudice blah blah blah hateful speech blah blah blah we should welcome everyone blah blah blah.

Invisible hand of self-interest: Public morality on the one hand, millions of dollars in gay tourism on the other... well now let me mull this one over...

City of Fort Lauderdale: Hey, we need the extra $250,000 from somewhere...

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