Rule 1: Respect yourself.
Hey, you can trust me, I'm clean!
Hey, you can kiss my ass!
Do we have to do that with a condom too?
Rule 2: Respect the other person.
You weigh 350 lbs.
Yeah, so? I said that in my online profile.
Your online profile said "beefy"
Ugh, I'm not attracted to you, but I also kind of feel like an asshole :(
Rule 3: Have fun (or walk away)
Hey man, fart in my face!
I really like it. Just fart in my face!
Uh, no thanks. Sorry... eeehh...
Rule 4: Never get so drunk or high as to leave yourself vulnerable
What's your name again? Wait, wasn't that the state line?!
Rule 5: Always have an exit strategy
Hey, wanna go to the Barracks? I'll drive.
Four hours later: Oh sweet mother of mercy I want to go home!
Hey just a little longer. Wooooooo!
Rule 6: Trust what people do, not what they say
I don't drink that much, really.
Really? Because you just pulled off six belly shots like it was nothing.
So? It was your belly!
Well, yes, but that isn't the point...
Rule 7: Be consistent about what you want and what you are willing to do.
Drink 1: We should just be friends
Drink 2: We should really just be friends
Drink 4: Friends make out with each other
Drink 6: Oral sex isn't really sex
Drink 9: Threeways? I love threeways! Wooooooo!
I suspect this list will continue to grow in the coming weeks and months. Open to suggestions!