Wednesday, May 6, 2009

women and power tools

This is an interesting study.

Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated.

Scans of some of the men found that a part of the brain associated with empathy for other people's emotions and wishes shut down after looking at the pictures.

...

The finding confirms a long-suspected effect of sexy images on the way women are perceived, and one which persists in workplaces and the wider world today, Fiske said.


I'm not actually sure that it does, although I am willing to rethink my ideas. I find this study challenging for a number of reasons.

One, I would be curious to know under what other circumstances that part of the brain lights up. For instance,

The brain scans showed that when men saw the images of the women's bodies, activity increased in part of the brain called the premotor cortex, which is involved in urges to take action. The same area lights up before using power tools to do DIY. "It's as if they immediately thought to act on theses bodies," Fiske said.


If this is simply a center of the brain that urges us to take action, then I would rather expect it to activate if a person was using power tools or sexually aroused. They are, after all, both actions. The quote also stands out to me; "It's as if they immediately thought to act on theses bodies." The whole acting on the body screams of feminist theory. Now don't get me wrong, feminist theory and I are homies, but inasmuch as it is one framework for understanding the world, it has its limits, and I don't feel that the conclusion here (that women are objectified) is compelled by the evidence (that one region of the brain is activated under two different circumstances).

I am further bothered by the inclusion in this particular article, and I suspect in the discussion section of the original study, that scans of some men show regions of the brain associated with empathy shutting down after looking at these pictures. It is entirely possible that this is a valid research point drawn by the study; I don't know, since I couldn't find it within five minutes of Google searching, got bored and proceeded to look at porn. What percentage of men is some men? Were other random parts of the brain flicking on or off during these scans?

I'm sure part of what is bothering me is the synopsizing of this research for whatever the newspaper equivalent of a soundbite is. Here's my bent, though: I'm humanist enough to believe that people can generally separate out their fantasy lives from reality, and that for most people, even habitual users of porn (which I suspect is most people) this does not seriously impact their view of their fellow humans. Can fantasies be objectiying? Absolutely. Is porn frequently objectifying? I sure think so. But does this mean that images of women's bodies alone, within this culture, lead to overall objectification? That is where this article is pointing to, and I find myself dubious. To me it speaks of a lack of faith in the human ability to separate out their feelings, and generally a lack of faith in human complexity. But I dunno, audience, you tell me.



Now how do you feel about women?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

just a thought



Make your point, or shut your mouth.
Anything else is chickenshit.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

further conversations with my grandmother

gm: So what are you doing right now?
me: Getting ready for a date
gm: Really? With that same guy?
me: Yup. I had a really great time last time. I'm trying to figure out which shoes to wear.
gm: You are putting a lot of thought into it. Hoping to get lucky?
me: Oh, I've tidied up the apartment and everything.
gm: You are hoping for big things.
me: Oh, six inches at least.
gm: ...
me: I apologize for nothing.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I have just re-read this entire blog

and you know what I realized?

My sense of humor has really not changed in the last two and a half years.

It is funny, because I picture myself as such a different, hopefully more mature person than I was back then, thanks largely to my job. I am more comfortable around people, more comfortable in my own skin, and generally a lot more confident. Yet it scares me to think that many of my views have not changed much since then. I suppose I fear becoming stuck in my ways and not growing as a person.

Back then I was grateful to be getting out of school and working. Now I am grateful to be going back to school (which was the progression I was expecting all along). Back then I was cementing a lot of my views on race and gender, and I think a lot of what has happened the last two years has been my heart and gut catching up with my head somewhat.

And while I want to read my own progress as positive, I find myself feeling strangely conflicted about it, wondering if maybe I have not grown enough or if I am missing something. Maybe I fear that I have not taken enough risks, enough chances, that I have held back. And perhaps I am too hard on myself.

Perhaps most importantly, maybe I should not get all nostalgic an hour before I have a date with someone. I bet my newfound friend Pink will snap me out of this!

the rules of dating

with examples!

Rule 1: Respect yourself.
Hey, you can trust me, I'm clean!
Hey, you can kiss my ass!
Do we have to do that with a condom too?
Wow, goodbye.


Rule 2: Respect the other person.
You weigh 350 lbs.
Yeah, so? I said that in my online profile.
Your online profile said "beefy"
Exactly! So?
Ugh, I'm not attracted to you, but I also kind of feel like an asshole :(


Rule 3: Have fun (or walk away)
Hey man, fart in my face!
What?
I really like it. Just fart in my face!
Uh, no thanks. Sorry... eeehh...


Rule 4: Never get so drunk or high as to leave yourself vulnerable
What's your name again? Wait, wasn't that the state line?!

Rule 5: Always have an exit strategy
Hey, wanna go to the Barracks? I'll drive.
Sure.
Four hours later: Oh sweet mother of mercy I want to go home!
Hey just a little longer. Wooooooo!


Rule 6: Trust what people do, not what they say
I don't drink that much, really.
Really? Because you just pulled off six belly shots like it was nothing.
So? It was your belly!
Well, yes, but that isn't the point...


Rule 7: Be consistent about what you want and what you are willing to do.
Drink 1: We should just be friends
Drink 2: We should really just be friends
Drink 4: Friends make out with each other
Drink 6: Oral sex isn't really sex
Drink 9: Threeways? I love threeways! Wooooooo!


I suspect this list will continue to grow in the coming weeks and months. Open to suggestions!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

flashbacks

I am sitting on my bed, downloading the latest Pink album. An hour later it will happen.

It is two weeks ago. I driving with my friend Jesse in Virginia. He is describing Pink's most recent album. He says that he initially though Pink would be a one-hit wonder.

In ten minutes the album will be downloaded and "So What" will start to play.

It is 2000. I find myself wondering who the hell would listen to someone named Pink.

In thirteen and a half minutes "Sober" replaces "So What." It is the most popular song on the album to date.

It is 2001 and "Get This Party Started" is a hit. I can't stand the damn song, nor the artist.

The album continues to download. I am wondering why the hell I am doing this.

In twenty minutes "Bad Influence" will be playing. It will be my favorite song on this album.

My friend Jesse is still talking while he drives. It is dark out. I am wondering if he sees something in pop music that I am missing.

In 45 minutes I will be listening through most of the songs a second time. The event is almost upon me.

It is 10 minutes ago. On a lark, I decide to download the most recent Pink album, based largely on Jesse's recommendation.

In 55 minutes I will be eating a carrot and humming "Bad Influence." I then realize that I want to listen to it again. I become horrified at this realization and begin experiencing Dr. Manhattan-like flashbacks.

It is still 2001 and a few of my friends are talking. I hear one of them remark, "I really don't feel like listening to someone who's going to have an identity crisis every time she decides to dye her hair a new color."

It is an hour from now. My sense of myself and the universe has lost all cohesion. My mind shatters, my will breaks, my brain feels as if it will implode. At this moment, I will have to admit that I like Pink.

In an hour and ten minutes, I will begin to blog. It will be the first time in several months that I have done so.

It is five days from now, a Sunday. I am going to watch a movie with friends. They tease me mercilessly for all of this.

Friday, January 30, 2009

thoughts on a month of not drinking

Primarily it comes down to this: holy crap, is this part of my social life. Maybe January just happens to be a social-gatherings-requiring-alcohol-heavy month, but there must have been around seven or eight times where me drinking would have been more appropriate to the situation than me not drinking. That's around one in four nights.

I'm thinking my new rule is going to be only to drink socially, never alone. Which I didn't do a whole lot of anyway, but it has been nice at times to come home, read a book and have a glass or two of wine. Or a fake Margarita where only the alcohol was real.

I also noticed that during my interview to volunteer with the AIDS Health Project they asked us about our using habits. My response went something like, "Well, that's funny, because I am actually taking a month off of alcohol or any other kind of drug. Not that I was using that much before, but it is nice to take a month off to make sure your habits are healthy. I would say that I drink mostly on the weekends, with friends or when I am going out. I mean, I certainly never drank at work..." I sound like a total alcoholic...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

a coworker

coworker: (to me) hey, you been working out?

me: (not sure whether to feel flattered or just awkward) um... yes?

coworker: see me checking you out?

me: stop that! stop that immediately!


awkward wins :(

Friday, January 23, 2009

i just saw my therapist

walking down the street. I'm 85% sure he was drunk. Stumbling, and the like. I think god has decreed it official awkward run-ins day. And if He/She/Sie hasn't, I do. My therapist didn't see me, and obviously he is a human with a personal life (like I someday hope to be) but it's still weird.

scrubbing my corneas

I was walking down 7th St. yesterday when I saw someone wearing a hoodie walking in front of me and another guy standing on the edge of the corner. The guy standing on the edge of the corner gives the person ahead of me one of the most intensely lustful up-and-down looks I have probably ever seen. This kind of thing doesn't really bother me one way or the other, but the guy tripped my gaydar a little and I got curious so I picked up my pace to get a look at the other person's face. My thought process at that point went something like: "Small-framed guy? Baby-faced street-girl? Or... oh... you're a... 12-year-old boy... eeeewwwwwwwwwwwww...."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

thoughts on valkyrie profile lenneth

This is a more enjoyable game than I thought it would be, as I am playing it an 10:20 on a work night.

I am realizing that I feel like most magic systems in the games I have played cast magic as a big-gun kind of weapon, and as such they load a lot of limits onto it in order to balance it out. MP, charge times and limited spells per battle, off the top of my head. Usually I find the result is that magic is overburdened to the point of being useless. Final Fantasy 8, Vagrant Story and Xenogears come to mind, although I think the classic example of this is FF Tactics.*

One thing I am liking about Valkyrie Profile is that it isn't nearly as weighed down. There is a kind of rebound charge time after casting that varies depending on the spell, but over-all it balances nicely with the strengths and weaknesses of normal physical attacks. It's powerful too; the basic heal spell heals 80% of every character's HP but has a long rebound time, so your caster is out of commission for the next 3-4 turns. This can mean the end of the battle anyway. The result is a challenge that actually makes me think over my options rather than "more ninjas!"

On a side-note, the premise of the game is that you are a Valkyrie in Norse Mythology who collects noble souls, trains them, and then sends them to the Ragnarok in Valhalla. A pretty cool premise, I think. One of the things that you have to do is improve character traits to make them more heroic. Some bad character traits that you have to eliminate are "romantic" and "non-drinker." I suppose if you are being sent to a version of heaven in which you hack each other to peaces all day and drink mead and have sex all night, "romantic" and "non-drinker" would be bad things. I appreciate the wry humor of that.

*On why I hate magic in Tactics: Tactics has all of these things, plus you risk hitting your own troops, your ability to cast spells proficiently also makes you more vulnerable to them, and caster classes usually have crappy stats and crappy stat growth. Even magic as an ability does not go up when you level as a caster- yeah, I checked the stat growth charts. There just aren't a whole lot of spells worth all of the limitations. The thing that gets me is that this game is so remarkably balanced in so many ways, but not magic. No wonder I had so many damn ninjas.

do I have a dirty mind, or does the universe?

I was watching TV at the laundromat, and there was a shot of "the world's longest waterslide," the "Black Anaconda," which had three or four African-American gentlemen sitting in it.

My question: how much of this is me seeing this, rolling my eyes and being willing to read something into it? How much is it the creators of the ride who decided to give the world's longest waterslide a provocative name? And perhaps most of all, how much of this is the producers of this stupid news segment who saw the Black Anaconda and decided to wait for the first group of dark-skinned men before saying, "there, Joe. There's our shot."

On a note vaguely related in my own head, I was on the bus yesterday innocently day-dreaming of how changey everything was when I see a poster ad that read "yes you can" with the middle "o" being a Pepsi symbol. Righteous indignation followed, although in retrospect I'm not sure I have a good reason for feeling that way. Is there any reason why a company can't coop a political message? Sure, it's dishonest, but is it any more so than when they show biscuits making a dough-man fake an orgasm or cereal that make your kids do better in school? I don't know that it is.

Mmmm... biscuits...

Friday, January 2, 2009

master cleanse

Alright, day one of the master cleanse.

If you aren't familiar, I'll spare you the google search. You drink saltwater in the morning, a homemade lemonade concoction through the day, and a laxative tea at night.

And since I know you are screaming at your computer screen "why!?!?!" let's get the disclaimers out of the way. I know that the master cleanse is a goofy idea. For most people it's a shock weight-loss diet that isn't even particularly effective. The guy who created it was pretty much a nut-job. It's also a little, well, unpleasant as fasts go. It does have a few selling points, though: it cleans out your (ahem) piping, it gets people to think more closely about what they are eating, and I have a few work friends to do it with. There also isn't much to eat around the house, besides the roughly 20 slabs of red meat I got from my grandmother for Christmas. No, really. More than anything, though, not eating for a few days (10 is the goal...we'll see) can't be any worse for me than most of the crap I eat daily anyway. Really, I've been trying to be more food conscious anyway recently, and this is another way of exploring that for myself.

So...not that bad so far, other than that I want food. Not hungry, just really wanting to eat a biscuit. Mmmmm, biscuit.

I don't actually think I have the willpower for this. We'll see.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

my grandmother vs. the computer

g-ma: Why can't I access email on this new computer?
me: I've set your email to be your homepage. Just click the little button that says "email" (a renamed "Internet Explorer" shortcut)
g-ma: I have clicked it. It won't open.
me: Did you try double-clicking it?
g-ma: ...no. Oh, look at that, double-clicking it made all the difference!
me: But you, you've been using computers for, how could you not know that you have to... (deep breath) never mind.

Sometimes I wish computers frustrated her less. Sometimes I wish she frustrated me less.