Fie unto thee, four years of college and the (useless) degrees that you have given me. Bollocks to you, real world, that would so wantonly smack me in the face with your sheer realitiness. All of my carefully laid defense mechanisms crumble at the feet of your sinister onslaught, and I stand exposed in all my naked indecision, humbly trying to cover the infinitesimalness of my motivation.
I really can't put off looking for a job any longer. Sigh.